21.

Tomorrow I am turning 21. A full on, completely legal adult. Yay, I can buy my own alcohol! But that's really it. I don't feel any different. I'm not acting any different. Personally, I am not in the place I wanted to be when I turned 21. And for a few days, I have been dwelling on that fact. I haven't graduated from college yet, I don't have the greatest job, and I don't even have my license yet (don't make fun of me). But, I must say, I'm farther than I was last year. I have a higher GPA, more career opportunities, a great boyfriend, and even more supportive people around me. I notice my mistakes, and I don't regret making them because I am headstrong and more determined because of them. But I can't help to think: what could I have done better? What advice can I give to people who aren't yet 21 so that they don't make the same mistakes I have made? Well, here they are:

1. Go to community college first. When you are just stepping out of high school and just leaving from under your parents' roof and rules, you are vulnerable. Whether you got plastered throughout high school or not, college is a whole different ball park. High school gives a slight leniency because they want you to get the hell out. In college, they could care less. It is your job to achieve your dreams at this point, not theirs. And being 18, overly excited, and vulnerable, it's very easy to mess up. It's easy to drink all night and live the TV version of college that you saw on American Pie 2. So, my advice is go to community college first. Yeah, you may be upset that you have to live another two years with your parents, but you will have an associates' degree, a lot of credits to transfer, and your head will be on a little straighter than the clumsy-brained freshmen that walk onto college campuses looking for the nearest bottle of Burnetts (ew). 

2. Significant other is exactly that. Being so young, of course you're going to want to experience certain things like a drunken one-night stand, falling in love, or being so freshly single from your long, drawn-out high school relationship that you are happy that you can screw up (no pun intended). And it is completely okay to want to do these things. And, not to sound like Mommy Dear or anything, but my only advice to you is don't lose yourself. I have seen many men and women lose parts of themselves inside of scandalous college sexual relation every weekend, and I have also seen men and women lose themselves because they are so deeply infatuated with their new boyfriend/girlfriend that they cast all of their dreams and hard work aside and forget what they have made it so far for. You are young. Experience life while you don't have all of the responsibilities. And by life, I don't mean experiencing every nearby penis or vagina. I mean, do community service. Volunteer. Get an internship. Join a club or make a club. Play a sport. Do movie night with your girls or game night with your guys. Pledge a sorority/fraternity. Experience college (and if you aren't planning on going to college) experience life in your young age. Take life by the horns and run with it because these are the golden years. Take advantage of your opportunities. Do you really want to just be able to tell your kids, "oh yeah, I had lots of alcohol and sex in college...that's about it"? Significant other is exactly that, other. Not husband, not whole entire life wrapped inside a person. Other. Your life should not be revolved around this person, nor should your sole happiness be based on this person. Make sure you are happy and the SO should be happy as well BEFORE you guys start anything serious. You should not make each other happy, but happier. Build each other. Complement each other. Support each other. Believe in each other. And everything else will come from there. 

3. Get a job. Seriously. You are not a senior in high school anymore. If you do not already have a job, go get one. I did not make this mistake, but I am still giving this advice because I have seen this mistake made numerous times. Your mother and father are not obliged to look after you anymore. I'm sure they will, but you have to show some initiative. Do you really want to be 20 years old still asking your mom for money to go to the movies? I'm sure you want to feel adult when you leave high school, so you have to act adult too, and adults don't just depend on Mommy and Daddy for everything. Get out there and grind. Whether you're working at McDonalds or at the nearest firm as an intern, WORK. Hard work always pays off. 

4. Don't let your living space become uncontrollably messy. Every young adult has this problem, unless you are OCD or an absolute beat freak, which is okay--no judgment here. But speaking for myself, this happened to me soooooo often (and still does). When you are so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of classes, extracurriculars, friends, making dining hours, studying, doing homework, and finding time to watch the newest episode of Teen Wolf, it's hard to manage a clean room. And if you're not on a college campus, if you're in community college or just working, even the hustle and bustle of work and perhaps class and making time for friends and extracurriculars can be hassling. So your room can either be cluttered with some clothes on the floor or it can look like that line in Frank Ocean's song Thinking Bout You "a tornado flew around the room before you came." And that has been me more times than one. So, advice is to clean your room every Friday before you go out so that throughout the week, you aren't even more stressed than you already are because the room is messy-- it will be cleaned Friday. And you have to stick to it, the cleaning Friday part. Because, trust me, once you miss one Friday, it's all downhill from there. A messy room provokes a messy brain, and causes more somewhat depression and stress after a long day. So just clean on Friday if it gets too messy, and try to tidy up throughout the week. 

5. Don't pig out. Work out. I get it. You worked a double shift and you just want some Five Guys. Or maybe you have two exams and you need some Sour Patch Kids and three cans of Starbucks' Double Shot espresso. Or maybe you're super drunk and you want to eat three packs of Ramen (I call it oodles n noodles). Slip ups happen, we all like to get a little greasy sometimes. But what you don't want to do is continue this routine every day. Cafeteria food in itself is not very healthy in college, and to top it all off, you're surrounded by pizza places and diners and Chinese food and all the things that don't taste like the crappy caf food. If you pig out, you need to work out. Even if you don't pig out, work out. The Freshman 15 didn't happen to me until my junior year, but it happened nonetheless. Stress causes weight gain, as well as not getting enough sleep. Sounds like young adulthood right? Getting hammered, eating greasy food, getting four hours of sleep, and doing this all weekend until you realize you have a paper due Monday. Stress, lack of sleep, pigging out. If you work out, you can relieve stress, you will get a wonderful night's rest from the workout, and you worked off the piggy. Shit happens, just make sure you clean it up. 

6. Find three hobbies. I actually saw this on a website called Daily Zen List while I was on Stumbleupon the other day and I thought it was magnificent. Find three hobbies: one that makes you money, one that keeps you in shape, and one that unlocks your creativity. This is great advice. In this way, you can be well-balanced in the ways of art, the ways of fitness, and the ways of entrepreneurship and finance. In times of stress, you can relate to any or all of these hobbies to release your mind. And if they all have benefits, then why not? You can enhance a talent, enhance your finances, and enhance your body muscle. Sounds like a plan to me. 

If I had done all of this, I would be closer to graduating, I'd have a banging body, I wouldn't be so stressed all the time, and I would probably have more money. But I'm working towards it and I won't quit. I won't ever be content if I know I can achieve more. I guess that's my last piece of advice. Never be okay with where you are. Always try to progress. Always be hungry. If you work hard, you can have whatever you desire. Have a hungry mind and a motivated body and the rest will come. 

Happy 21st to me!

-Kendra