I don't hand out crowns for skin color.

I've got something to say. 

I'm a proud black woman. I have never been ashamed of my skin color and I have never wished I was a different race (except sometimes when I'm straightening my hair but that's a different story). I love black people. I love our culture and our features. 

But...

I am completely fed up with this expectation that black men and women should be treated like kings and queens for the sole reason that we are black. We always claim that we are so much more deserving of opportunities than others because of "what we've been through". First off, our ancestors were the slaves. Our ancestors were the ones who got us here, not us. Yes, there's still a lot of racism, but if you are truly a king or queen, then stupidity and prejudice shouldn't hold you back. Our skin color was the reason we have been oppressed for so many years, so why would you want your skin color to credit your value? I don't give out crowns for skin color. A man is not a king if he doesn't act accordingly. A woman is not a queen if she doesn't act like one. You don't deserve to sit on a throne if you conduct yourself like a peasant. It's not about skin color. I've seen plenty black men and women who claim they are strong just because they are black. You gain strength from pushing through difficult moments. You don't gain strength because of the amount of melanin in your skin. You are not a king if you are going around selling drugs and calling it a job. You are not a queen if you are paying your bills by screwing a guy that gives you money. You are not a king if you disrespect women and call them out of their name. You are not a queen if you disrespect yourself by exposing yourself to men undeserving. You are not a king or a queen if you don't take care of your children or put your children first. I won't respect anyone who doesn't respect themselves. I won't see a man as a king or a woman as a queen if they don't respect themselves, don't work to support the family, or blame everyone else but themselves for their misfortune--black or not. To be a king and queen, you have to work for it. You have to embody it. You want racial equality? Then you work your ass off and don't expect anything to fall in your lap because of your skin color. Take responsibility for your actions. Don't blame the world for your hardships, push through them. Earn your crown and earn your throne. When you know you worked for it, when you embody the essence of king or queen, even if you may get knocked off your throne a little bit, no one can take that away from you. 

Oh, and I know so many of you work for your crowns day in and day out, and I respect you for that. We all have the ability to be kings and queens. Do it. Believe it. Embody it. Become it. 

*no offense to anyone, just a moment to vent*

what is feminism?

I haven't blogged in a while, and that may be because of two things: I've mentally been in the wrong place or I've been too busy trying to get my life together. I'll go with the latter for my own benefit. 

I've been seeing some tweets about feminism and they haven't been very positive. What people seem to think feminism is is some attack on all males, women will rule the world, men are evil, men are the woman's enemy.....yaddayadda. People also seem to think that feminism gives women the right to be naked in public as a way of "being comfortable with themselves" or that wearing no bra is a sign of liberation (from what I'm not sure). None of that is true at all. Feminism, by definition from the Webster dictionary, is 1 :  the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2 :  organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests. Nowhere in that definition does it say feminism is the glorification of man-eating, butt-naked, breast-gallanting, male-abhorring women. 

Now, many people may have a negative view of feminism because uneducated people pull stupid stunts and stamp the idea of feminism on them. For example, many women claim that Rihanna wearing the extremely sheer, flapper-inspired dress to the CFDA Awards was an act of feminism because she bared herself "fearlessly" and empowered women to embrace their bodies. No. First of all, she did it to get attention, to keep herself relevant in the media, to get people talking about her. It wasn't fearless, it was careless. It was an act displaying a lack of self-respect, a will to get attention no matter the cost. She makes millions of dollars and has millions of fans and still feels as though the only way to capture attention is to be naked. And, trust me, I love Rihanna just as much as the next person, but that was inexcusable in my eyes, and definitely not an act of feminism. 

Secondly, I want to put this on the table for everyone to know. Feminism and female empowerment are not the same thing. Like I said previously, feminism is the idea of women being socially, economically, intellectually and culturally equal to men. Female empowerment is the uplifting of women, not above men, but within themselves. Female empowerment  is keeping girls and women believing that they are beautiful, smart, and worthy of respect, no matter what society or anyone else says. It's a way to build and maintain self-esteem and confidence within the female community. Similar to feminism slightly, but not the same at all. 

Thirdly, not just women are feminists. Many men are too! I found a great definition of feminism on Urban Dictionary, surprisingly: "Feminism is the belief that women are and should be treated as potential intellectual equals and social equals to men. These people can be either male or female, although the ideology is commonly (and falsely) associated mainly with women." So how can a man be a man-eating woman? (Unless sex change...never mind). Feminism is also the idea that people deserve and are entitled to equal freedom and equal civil rights, and should not be discriminated upon because of gender, race, sexual orientation, age, culture, religion, or way of living. 

Feminism is not, by any stretch of the imagination, what Nicki Minaj is trying to act upon in her new 'Anaconda' video, which many seem to believe is the case. A woman crediting her behind for her success is not an act of feminism. I'm not sure what it is, but it's not feminism. Women bearing their breasts as an act of liberation from society is also not feminism. I get the point, if men don't wear bras then why should we? Well, because we have breasts. Feminism is about being equal to men, not becoming them. Put your bra back on ladies. 

If you believe that women should be considered socially, intellectually, politically, economically, and culturally equal to men, you are a feminist. If you believe that all people are entitled to equal civil rights with no discrimination, you are a feminist. You don't have to identify as being one, but you hold to feminist beliefs. I just had to let you all know real quick. 

Thanks for reading. 

And if you don't know, now you know.