misery loves company.

I would like to inform my blog readers on something that happened to me yesterday, just to show you how the world is, even after how far we've come. 

Yesterday, at around 8pm, me and my boyfriend were walking into a Dollar Tree to grab some supplies. In front of the Dollar Tree, an African-American woman, sitting on the ledge of the Dollar Tree window, is talking on her phone. As me and my boyfriend walk past, the woman says in an intentionally audible tone, "And here go this black bitch tryna be white." I turned around to check if she was referring to me because I was the only girl in her vicinity. She then put her hands in the air and said, "Yeah bitch, I said it. Come outside. Come see me, bitch!" I tried to control my anger and continued to walk ahead, but my boyfriend could not handle someone disrespecting me and walked outside to talk to the woman. As I walked outside after him, she constantly referred to him as "white boy" and continued to make threats toward his and my life, saying things like "I can make one phone call and make you disappear." After my boyfriend called her a 'crackheaded bitch' a few times (she did look like a crackhead, not saying he was right to do this), a man claiming to be her brother comes outside and tells my boyfriend not to call his sister a bitch. My boyfriend defends me and says, "Well, she shouldn't have called my woman a bitch." As the men are having their conversation, the woman is trying to talk to me, saying "I don't even know you" over and over. I then ask her, "If you don't know me, why talk shit about me"? She then proceeds to tell me to go suck my boyfriend's dick...cool. So I let it go, my boyfriend and the other guy agree that calling the woman a bitch wasn't right, and my boyfriend and I walk back into the store. 

I am still pretty pissed about the racial remark made toward me, and as I walk I to the store I am still fuming. The man claiming to be the woman's brother is still talking shit, and says quite loudly, "if he had called her a bitch again, I would have beat his ass (referring to my boyfriend)." Matt (my boyfriend) turned around and said "oh really?" and two men came storming toward us ready for a fight. I told Matt no constantly, and he unwillingly listened, putting a cart in front of us to block us from the men. Then, right before the two men went to walk away, one of them said, "if anything, call that half-breed bitch of yours a bitch." At this point, Matt and I both were fed up and as I tried to storm out of the store, Matt was behind me yelling at the gentlemen, telling them to not disrespect me. I repeatedly said, "Me being mixed is obviously a problem here, we need to go" and finally Matt listened. As we are leaving the store, we are still being threatened by the man, who is shouting racial slurs at both of us. We drive off...

I have never felt so angry and hurt and disrespected in my life. I was called a bitch more than three times by three black people in a primarily black area because of my light skin and because I am dating a white man. More than 3 men in the Dollar Tree were willing to fight Matt just because he was white. No one saw anything wrong with the racist slurs toward either of us. No one saw anything wrong with the fact that we did not provoke any of this by doing anything but existing. The fact that these people saw such a problem in my genes as well as my boyfriend's genes, and saw such a problem in the fact that a black girl and a white guy are happy together disgusts me. And the fact that there are so many more people who see interracial couples in this demeaning manner but aren't as ignorant to express it disgusts me as well. We want to blame police for shooting our black men and demeaning our black men, when our black women constantly hurt and disrespect their own black women. And then they have the nerve to get mad when they see a black woman with a white man. I love my man, white, black, purple, green. And that's how the world should see it--two people being together because they love each other. But no, I'm referred to dog-like terminology like half-breed and bitch because I have light skin and a white man. We complain so much about white people being so racist towards us when we are even more racist toward ourselves. A white person has never went out of their way to make me feel bad about the color of my skin or who I'm dating. Ever. Let's reflect on that a little. 

I just wanted you to see how much the world HASNT changed. We still have so much to work on. It's 2014, years after slavery has been abolished. Years after schools and jobs and communities have been integrated. Even years after having our first black president. And black people still look down at other black people for their skin complexions. Black people still see it their business to comment on who a black person can love. It's disgusting and perverted and cruel and imbecilic. I used to cringe at the thought that, if me and Matt have children, that this is what they will have to put up with. Being half white and half black, I used to fear that they won't fit in anywhere. That everyone will see them as different. But I don't fear that anymore. Because each and every person on this planet is different. I will raise them to have tough skin. They will be able to take and dish the bullets, and, when it gets too hard, Mommy and Daddy will shield them and protect them. Our world is still so divided, even within a single race. I only wish it wasn't like this....